Sorry for the stupid things i wish i didn’t say or do…. but I do..

  I come here today, in this way, because I need to apologize to you.I dont know how to explain to you how sorry i am last night. I couldn’t say all of this over the phone or thru text so i decided to just write everything i want to say to you. I failed you again. Although I did not lie to you in words, I lied to you with faces that did not belong to me. I never meant to ruin the relationship that meant the world to me. You mean the world to me and now I come to you asking for forgiveness. If in your heart you find you can’t, then I will understand and learn from this experience.

  You have come into my life at a time when I needed you the most. We talked about so many things that I started to realize my heart and my soul could actually feel something other than hurt. You placed comfort where there was fear, confidence where there was doubt, a shoulder where tears could fall and completeness where there was emptiness. I wanted to hold onto to this so badly that I did whatever it took for you to notice. What I didn’t realize was that I could lose my entire being, all of who I was and all that I had placed in you. I wanted to be the one who would be there when you needed to talk. I wanted to be the comfort for your soul when the world was too much to handle. I wanted to be strong for you when everything else seemed impossible. I wanted to love you in only the way you deserved to be loved. 

  All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true. Nothing else mattered to me except hearing the laughter in your voice when you were happy. You made my days easy to get through and my nights at peace, looking forward to another day, even though distance separates us just being was enough. Im SORRY for hurting your feelings again. Im sorry for being rude, for being insensitive, for being the bad me. I love youu so much mahal.